The bird that flew away
by sheXfanciesXhim
Summary: "The fall was as short as a flutter of a birds wing, but as long as all eternity." Raven's last days. Rated T for gruesome details


I** don't own Teen Titans** **:'( This is all Raven's P.O.V.**

_Thoughts _

**Days**

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**Day 1**

I laid on my bed thinking. Something I have been doing very often. It really wasn't a suprise that I was in my room. I had been "caved in", as Beast Boy calls it, for a month know. A deeply depressing month. A month of heart-break. Ever since that day. The beautifully horrible day! The day I had finally accepted my feelings for him. The day he had accepted his feelings for _her_. The day I spent trying to come up for a way to confess to him. The day he got the courage to confess to _her._ That day that ruined my emotions, my feelings, for good. The day I pledge to never EVER, feel anything for anyone ever again. And here I was now a month of feeling for _him._

There was a knock at my door. I stayed silently hoping whoever was at the door would go away. Then I heard his voice. That soft yet rough voice. It wasn't the voice he used when he talked to the team. It wasn't the voice he used for the boys. It wasn't the voice he used for her. No, it was the voice he used for me. The soft yet rough voice.

"Raven, please come out." The call almost sounded like a question. A question but a command. I tightened my eyes, hoping my tears wouldn't fall. He called again.

"Raven. I know you're in there. Please come out. I haven't seen you in a month. Tell me what's worng and I'll do anything to help. Please Raven!" He pleaded. I sat on the edge of my bed for a moment.

"You can't do anything to help me. It's far to late for that." My voice sounded raspy. That's what happens when you don't speak to anyone for a month. I heard him gasp.

"Raven! Come out and talk with me please." He tried to open my door with the code he knew. To bad for him. I sneaked into the security system and changed the code. He cursed. He started knocking again. Hoping to annoy me. Then I heard footsteps walking towards my door.

"Robin. We must leave her be. She wants to be alone, in the room of solitude where she spends time in. Give her time and she will come out again." It was the sweet voice of Starfire. I didn't hate her. Even though most girls would. If she stole their love. The only happiness. But then again, I wasn't like most girls. And I didn't need to blame Starfire. I blamed myself. For letting myself feel for him. For making friendships.

"But Star, we can't just leave her. Who knows when she'll come out! We have to try." Robin spoke to his girlfriend, his love, his...only love. He spoke to her in a soft voice.

"That is where you are wrong. If we push her, she may never come out." Starfire tried reasoning with him. She had gotten smarter these past years. She wasn't the same naiive alien she was as a teen. But she had grown and matured as all 23 year olds do.

"I hope you're right, love." My heart broke again at his words. I laid back again silently sobbing. Hoping the pain would go away. But I knew it wouldn't. It wouldn't go for someone like me. I chose feelings. Feelings that were different from other girls. I gave up my powers for love. Love that was not going to ever leave. I was never going to get over this. I knew it. I was going to live my life loving someone who didn't love me back. That was enough for me. Enough to decide my choice. The choice that would end Love. End it forever. For this, I was glad I left my powers, that I got rid of them, or I wouldn't be able to do what I was about to do.

I finally smiled. For the first time in a dreadfull month ,I smiled. I was going to get rid of the pain.

**Day 2**

I hadn't slept at night, at all. But I was used to it. I hadn't been sleeping much this past month. I got up from my bed. I wave of diziness hit me. I almost fainted. i knew it was the result of not eating for three weeks. I was very skinny. You could see everybone in my body, if I wasn't wearing my leaotard, which fit me very loosly now. I slowl walked towards my vanity. I looked down at the mirror to nevermorel. It had lost it's power all ready. Since I gave up my powes, I didn't need to keep my emotions in check anymore. It was know a normal mirror. I picked it up. It felt vey heavi since I didn't have alot of strenght anymore. I looked at my reflection. Though the girl staring back at me didn't look like Raven at all. The girl in the mirror waspale, so pale you would think you could see right through her. She had whiteish pinkish thin cracked lips. And you would assum she had no cheeks, i fit wasn't for her very visible cheek bones. The sides of her face were sunken in like holes. And her eyes, the ones amethyst eyes looked grey know. They lost the light in them. Even whe she was emotionless, like before, the had light. Below her eyes were big blue bags. The result, again, for not sleeping. Her hair was grown past her shoulders. I looked at the girl in the reflection. A sad lonly depressed girl. A girl in love. I sat down the mirror. I wandered around my dark room. Then I heard giggling. I stopped and walked slowly towards the door ad put my ear against it.

"Starfire." I heard a someone moun. There was some kissing noices and more mouns.

"Robin, I really do love you." A soft voice said. Tears were stinging my eyes. I let them run down freely. I walked backwards from the door. I tripped on some books on the floor and fell. I put my arm in front. I was so fragil my wrist broke when I hit the fround. My eyes widened in pain. I yelled out a small raspy yell. I gasped from the pain.

"Raven! RAVEN! Open the door" Robin yelled from the other side. The pain distracted me form the yells. The pain was excrushiating. But, it felt good. It felt so good. I let myself feel the pain. I let it flow. It hurt so much. But I loved it. I finally got up. I still heard Robin yelling outside, but it was also Starfire Beast Boy and Cyborg. I wanted them to leave me alone. The pain was gone now. Replaced my numbness. The feelings I had were coming back to me again. I didn't want them back. I went around the room franticly looking for something that I could use. I found a small piece of wood. It was sharp. I grabbed it and stabbed it into my palm. The same feeling came back. Except less pain. I decided to snap my wrist back in place. I grabed it with my hand and took a big breath. I snapped it back. I winced in pain loudly.

"Raven! Are you ok? Please let us in!" Everyone was pounding at the door.

"RAVEN IF YOU DON'T OPEN THE DOOR NOW I'LL BREAK IT!" Cyborg yelled.

"I-I'm ok, now leave me alone!" I yelled at them hoping the left me in piece so I could resume. They sighed.

"But why did you yell?" I heard Beast Boy's voice.

"Yo-you don't need to know, I'm fine now please leave me ALONE!" I yelled again. They sighed but agreed. I quickly went through my trunks. I found a small pocket knife I use fo emergencies. I grabbed it and began slicing every inch of my body that was visible. My legs my arms. The stinging pain was so good. I cried silently. I cried of relief. I cried for _him._

**Day three**

I woke up on the floor. There was blood all over me from my wounds. The carpet looked darker than usual. The sheets were stained red. I got up slowly. I pushed of on my broken wrist and fell. I tried again with my other hand. I was succesfully standing. It was late afternoon. I slept long hours. I went outside towards the empty hallway. I walked towards the common room. Only two people were there. Starfire. Robin.

They were holding each other lovingly. They whispered love words into each others ears. They stole kisses. I watched in pain. It was more painful then listening. All the pain I went through last night seemed worthless. The feelings the emotions the pain was unberable. By know my tears where unstopable. My heart broke for the last time. I gasped. The pain in my heart. I felt my heart break beyond repare as I watched the two kiss. Someone spoke behind me.

"Raven?" The person gasped. I turned to see Cyborg. He looked at me in horror.

"Oh my GOD! Raven! What the hell happened to you?" He yelled at me. I knew he saw a super skinny almost transparent girl with blood and deep cuts all over her body. He looked like he was about to break into tears. I ran out towards the roof. I heards him yell my name. I heard all the titans yell my name. I ran up the stairs. I broke open the door. I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"WHY! WHY ME!" I yelled and sobbed. I ran to the edge of the tower. I stopped up on the ledge. I looked down. Then the titans all ran out.

"Raven get down! Please come down!" Cyborg commanded. He yelled. He was crying like the other titans.

"Raven let us help you! Just tell us what's wrong!" Robin tried to get me down I shook my head slowly.

"You want to know? I will tell you. But listen and no interuptions." I cried silently. "The problem is my existence. Everything about me is the problem. The way I am. My destiny. You saved me from my destiny before Robin, but sadly, you can't this time."

"I can try! Please Raven!" He cried.

"No, it's far to late. The problem is...I love you so much Robin!" I yelled in between tears. Everyone stared wide eyed at me. "But you have already found happiness with someone else. Although I won't ever be able to be happy, I wish you the best. I gave up everything for you. My powers, me. I gave it up for love. And I expirienced it for a day, before your confession to Starfire. I am grateful I was able to feel for once." I stepped down from the ledge infront of Robin. Gently I leaned on him and kissed him. He kissed me back. Although it was probably out of pity. He cried while I kissed him. I pulled away.

"Thank you Robin. I love you." I jumped of the tower. But before that I managed to hear his last words to me. It was a whisper but I managed to hear it.

"I love you to Raven." I fell.

I couldn't understand yet. I couldn't comprehend why I had to fall in love. Why I had to go through all this misery. Why I was born cursed. Why I couldn't find happiness. Why I could love but not be loved back. But I had managed to get my kiss. I had managed to hear his true feelings abot me. Even though I knew if I hadn't jumped he still wouldn't give up Starfire, because he loved her too.

The fall was as short as a flutter of a birds wing, but as long as all eternity. I hit the ground and at last, my pain was gone.

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**IM SO SORRY FOR THE SAD STORY! I cried writting it! Please review and tell me your thoughts. Tell me if you need explaining or anything, or if I need to change somehting. Thank you for reading!**


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